


I saw Felix kissing Santa-chan

by Goldenglare29



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Changbin turns into olaf, Christmas, Christmas Themed, Crack, Felix kisses Santa chan, M/M, Straight kids, That last tag was a lie, hyunjin gets stuck in a tree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28288287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldenglare29/pseuds/Goldenglare29
Summary: It’s Christmas time for Stray kids. They got a shit ton of things to do such as:Put viagra in Santa’s drink, prank Christmas carollers, get stuck in the Christmas tree, fall down the chimney-Oh and of courseAssault Santa clause after calling him a pedophile....Very very normal
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	I saw Felix kissing Santa-chan

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
> just some Christmas crack for y’all. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

It was a snowy evening at stray kids vacation house up in Canada. The simple two story lodge was cosy on the inside and outside the only difference was that the outside looked serene which was completely different from the inside. 

"No Jeongin! You can't drink the eggnog! It has alcohol in it!" Chan exclaimed as the youngest took a waterbottle filled with eggnog and chugged it. 

"Now...Does anyone here have Viagra?" Minho asked from the top of the stairs 

"Excuse me-what?" Changbin asked who was dragging a box of outside Christmas decorations he was going to put on the roof. 

"No not for me. I have some uhh-plans for a special visitor" Minho explained. 

"M'kay top left shelf in the bathroom" Felix said with a shrug. 

"Thanks" Minho said before hurrying up the stairs to get a key element for his master plan. 

"...you keep viagra?" Chan asked 

Everyone else was just staring at Felix who just shrugged. 

"I mean why wouldn't i?" Felix replied plainly. 

"Alright that's enough. I need attention now" Hyunjin called from the other side of the room. "I have used my own hands to create this wonderful...thing" he proclaimed. 

"Wait why do we have two Christmas trees?" Seungmin questioned. 

"Because I have purchased an electric moving one" Hyunjin said pointing to the nearest christmas tree which looked exactly like the other one but fake. 

"Show us what it can do then" Jisung said 

"If I take this remote and move it up and down then the tree lowers itself down vertically and then if I press this then it spins around" Hyunjin said showing how the tree could rotate and bend. 

"That tree can bend over more than Jisung" Minho said who had just walked downtown the stairs. 

"Hey! You know I have stiff joints!" Jisung replied. 

"Well it's a cool Christmas tree" Chan said 

———5 mins later

"Can someone help me set up the plate with food for Santa?" Felix asked

"I'll help" Minho said

"Wait...really" Felix said 

"Yeah of course" Minho said. Little did the others know what he was going to do. 

"I'm making some brownies" Felix said as they walked into the kitchen 

"Alright, I'll pour the glass of milk" Minho said. When he was sure that Felix wasn't looking he reached into his pocket and took out the viagra pill, slipping it into the glass before pouring in the milk. 

"Looks like Santa's gonna get a real problem this year" he said with a grin 

———on the doorstep

Seungmin had a big bucket of water and rope set out on the floor as he attached a piece of wood over the top of the door. 

"What are you doing?" Jeongin asked

"Well I am not in the mood to tell Christmas carollers to fuck off so I decided that I'm going to place this bucket above the door so when Christmas carollers do ring the doorbell I can just dump the water onto them" Seungmin exclaimed while wrapping the rope around the bucket. 

"Oh wow that's kinda smart" Jeongin said

"Exactly. So I can sit down, watch a movie and when the doorbell rings. Just pull the rope and they'll be gone" Seungmin said with a smile 

"Sometimes my genius...it generates gravity" Seungmin said placing the bucket on top of the door. 

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to get into my character of Scrooge from a Christmas carol" Seungmin said while closing the door and walking away. 

"Oh but I wanted to show you my Santa tracker" Jeongin said 

"Fine alright" Seungmin said 

"YAY!" Jeongin said pecking seungmins cheek before hopping off towards the couch. 

"Why does my face feel like it's about to burn and peel off?" Seungmin questioned. 

——— in the living room 

Jisung had gotten firewood and a lighter and was now dead set on lighting the fireplace. 

"If he lights the fire, then how is Santa meant to come down the chimney?" Jeongin asked

"I got it. Don't worry I'll handle it" Seungmin said standing up and grabbing a fire extinguisher. "Now of Santa sets on fire he can just set it out by himself" 

"See this is how we should be teaching kids to be independent. If you can solve the problem yourself. You die" Jisung said

Jisung fiddled around with the lighter until the wood caught on fire. 

"AND THEN THERE WAS LIght!" Jisung exclaimed. 

———15 minutes later

"Wait where did Changbin go?" Hyunjin asked

"I think he is setting up the Christmas decorations on the roof" Chan said. 

"...do you not realise the many ways that the sentence that you just said could go wrong" Minho said. 

"He'll be fine" Chan said 

———on the roof 

"IM NOT FUCKING FINE!" Changbin exclaimed. 

He had been setting up a hollow light- up snowman which wasn't lighting up. 

"I swear to god if I get stuck inside this thing I am going to kill someone" He muttered before removing the head of the snowman and diving inside the body. 

He got stuck

———Back in the kitchen 

"Add a little bit of this. Add a little bit of that" Felix sung as he dumped the brownie ingredients into a big bowl before violently stirring it. 

"Now for my secret weapon. This'll make sure that we get to keep all the remaining presents in Santa's sleigh" Felix said taking out a small ziplock bag filled with sleeping pills. 

He poured the brownie mix into a baking tray before moving over to the preheated oven. 

"Bon appetite bitch" Felix said shoving the brownies into the oven

———back in the living room

"According to my Santa tracker. Santa should be arriving in 8 hours so that means that we should all head to bed first." Jeongin said checking his phone. 

"I can't believe that people actually like a big fat man who could be a potential pedophile who makes children sit on his lap" Jisung said getting up off the couch. 

"Wait guys let me fix the Christmas tree. The lights have gone out" Hyunjin said walking over to his electric tree. 

He shook the tree and the lights went on 

"YASS-no" he said as the lights turned off

"YASS-no" he said again. As the light turned off once more 

"Let me just lower the tree" he said picking up the remote and the tree lowered itself down. He climbed onto it and fiddled around with the lights. 

Seungmin walked over and picked up the remote. "Now if I were to press this button, what would happen?" He asked himself

"WAIT NO!"'Hyunjin exclaimed. 

Seungmin pressed the spin button and the tree started spinning around...with Hyunjin clinging on for dear life.

"IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" Hyunjin screeched as he spun around on the tree.

"...party." Was all Seungmin said as he trudged up the stairs in his Rudolph onesie. 

Everyone made their way upstairs, including a dizzy Hyunjin, who had managed to get himself down from the Christmas tree, and had gotten into their couple pyjamas. 

Seungmin and Jeongin had matching reindeer ones, Chan and Felix had Santa clause and Mrs clause ones, Jisung and Minho had chosen elf costumes saying 'naughty little elf's'...um so anyways. And Hyunjin was wondering around wearing his gingerbread onesie while trying to find Changbin so he could give him the matching onesie. 

"Hey, has Changbin not finished putting the decorations up yet?" Hyunjin finally asked 

"I think he'll come down when he finishes" Chan said who was sitting on one of the many double beds. 

"Alright. I'll just leave this here then" Hyunjin replied placing the onesie on the bedside table. 

"Alright chirren. Goodnight, sweet dreams, blah blah blah" Felix said standing next to the door to turn the lights out. 

They had all moved the beds into the massive upstairs room so that everyone slept in the same room. It was part of their big plan to save cost on the electricity bill. 

"DEUCES!" Felix yelled after turning off the lights and yeeting himself into the bed. 

———1hour later

Chan was sure that everyone was asleep. He peeled back the covers and leaned over to the bedside table which had a fake beard. 

Mission: turn into Santa Claus is ago 

He had even bought a red sack and stuffed all the toys into it for that Santa real ness. 

He crept down the stairs dragging the sack, it was dark downstairs, the only light was coming from the Christmas decorations and he started quickly but quietly placing the presents on the floor around the Christmas trees. He even had time to drink the milk and eat the cookies left for 'Santa'. 

Until a sound was heard

"BEEP BEEP!" 

The fucking oven

"Fuck" was all Chan could say as the noise of feet was heard coming down the stairs. 

A tired Felix flicked the lights on and rubbed his eyes. 

"Wow...you make Santa look fit" he said tiredly. 

"...hi" Chan replied with wide eyes. 

Felix stared at Chan once more before he made his way to the kitchen, took out the brownies and then Quickly cut them up into smaller pieces. 

He put one piece on a plate and walked over to Chan 

"Can you leave this out for Santa please" Felix replied 

"Yeah sure" Chan said

"Thank you" Felix said before lightly pecking chans lips. 

Then shit happened. 

"PEDOPHILE ALERT! PEDOPHILE ALERT!" JIsung screeched into a megaphone. 

After witnessing Felix kiss 'Santa', Jisung, Minho and Hyunjin had jumped out from the top of the stairs where they had been observing the scene below. 

"I've been filming everything. I will send this to the police if you give me coal again this Christmas" Hyunjin replied still filming on his phone. 

"DONT WORRY IVE GOT HIM" Minho replied rushing down the stairs and grabbing a chair before making his way over to chan with the chair already raised over his head. 

"Wait! MINHO WATCH THE LIGHT!" Hyunjin yelled 

Minho paused for a second lowering the chair before raising the chair back up and whacking Chan with the chair...

Oh and hitting the lightbulb as well making the room turn pitch black. Apart from the fire still burning in the fireplace 

"AHHHH!" Jisung screamed "oh wait my fire is still there" 

Until a person stuck in a snowman decoration fell down the chimney. And set on fire. 

"I THOUGHT ONLY SANTA COMES DOWN THE CHIMNEY NOT OLAF!" Hyunjin shrieked. 

"HELP! IM ON FIRE" Changbin yelled running around the living room, still lit. 

"Wait IS THAT YOU CHANGBIN" Jisung yelled 

The on fire snowman stumbled around the room. 

"YES!" Changbin yelled

"OH MY GOD. LOOKS LIKE HE REALLY IS...too hot to handle" Hyunjin said 

"Your boyfriend is literally one fire" Felix said 

"Oh yeah" Hyunjin said "STOP DROP AND ROLL!" 

after that didn't work

"I GOT THIS" Jisung screamed before grabbing the fire hydrant and spraying it all over Changbin 

"Thank you, thank you. I know...I'm a hero" Jisung said smugly. 

The burnt snowman's plastic build had prevented Changbin from getting burned. But he did feel like he was in a very hot sauna. 

They lifted the costume off changbin who was mad and very sweaty. 

"This'll make a nice photo for the Christmas cards" Hyunjin said taking a pic. 

"Who allocated me for outside Christmas decorations duty?" He said crossing his arms. 

While all this was happening, Chan saw it as the perfect opportunity to sneak away. So he crawled across the floor and headed to the bathroom. 

He sat down on the floor panting...

And that's when the Viagra kicked in 

———Timeskip to morning because I ain't writing bout viagra

"Santa has arrived at your destination" Jeongins Santa tracker said. 

The boy immediately leaped out of bed and woke everyone else up. 

"HURRY YOUR OLD PRUNE ASSES UP!" He exclaimed while jumping up and down. 

the others groaned in annoyance. It was 7 in the morning and they were done with it already. 

"I just had a highly traumatising dream where I saw Felix kissing Santa Claus" Jisung mumbled 

"Oh no" Felix replied

"What?" Jisung asked 

"I didn't even get his number!" Felix exclaimed 

"Wait where's everyone else?" Hyunjin asked after looking around. 

There was only him, Jeongin, Felix and Minho in the room. 

"I don't know. Maybe they're already downstairs?" Jisung replied 

"If they so much as put their disease inflicted hands on my presents so help me god I will destroy them" Felix said 

The four of them immediately made Their way downstairs only to find a bunch of presents and 4 slightly big boxes. 

They stepped towards said boxes with curiosity and took to unwrapping them. 

"3...2...1..open!" Felix exclaimed ripping open the box. 

To their surprise in each box was their boyfriends who had their arms and legs wrapped up with red ribbon and a piece of green ducktape concealed their mouths. 

They started yelling things, but of course it came out muffled due to the tape. 

"What the heck are you guys doing?" Jisung asked

The others just wiggled around in their boxes while yelling muffled things. 

The others immediately ripped off the ducktape from their mouths. 

"OUCH!" The four of them exclaimed. 

"What happened?" Jeongin repeated. 

"Santa. Is an old pedophile, fat, round, kidnapping, horrible, hippo looking man!" Chan spat. 

"He tied us up for you guys as presents!" Changbin exclaimed 

There was silence for a second 

"Awww I think that's sweet" Jisung said breaking the silence 

Felix, Jeongin and Hyunjin agreed with him. 

Each earning disapproving looks from their tops. 😳

"Hurry up and untie me I'm gonna kill that fat fucker!" Seungmin mumbled 

They quickly untied them to which Seungmin immediately grabbed a knife from the kitchen and headed out the door. 

"Wait does that mean Santa's still here? Jeongin asked 

"Yup he just finished wrapping us like 5 minutes ago" Chan said 

Everyone raced towards the window to see Santa hopping up onto his sleigh, still being chased by an angry seungmin. 

"Hoe hoe hoe!" Santa cheerfully said 

"Is it just me or does Santa strikingly resemble JYP?" Hyunjin mumbled 

"Santa strikingly resembles JYP" everyone else answered. 

The sleigh lifted up from the group and shot off into the air, with Seungmin still cursing at it. 

"Oh wait. Did Rudolph just leave a massive shit on our lawn?" Jisung asked 

"Oh for fuck sake" everyone exclaimed 

-the end-


End file.
